


i will not ask you (neither should you)

by orphan_account



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Kind of angsty, M/M, briefest mention of bitty lmao, mostly dumb boys who need emotional help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8427742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The thing that Dex doesn’t realize about Nursey is that he’s a little more observant than he lets on.





	

-

The thing that Dex doesn’t realize about Nursey is that he’s a little more observant than he lets on. 

It’s Sunday in the Haus, with everyone invited over for Bitty’s brunch with friends. It’s peaceful (in the way the Haus was peaceful) and the frogs and tadpoles sat around on the couch and floor, eating Bitty’s pancakes slowly as they listened to Shitty (who had stolen away from Harvard just that weekend) recount the tales of some his first kegsters at Samwell.

“--Absolutely drunk out of my  _goddamn mind_. I ended up stealing someone’s chiffon skirt and six inch pumps just for the Hell of it and-OH, Jack! Remember how I fell on top of you trying to go upstairs with the whiskey in my hands!?”

Jack leans forward with his own plate in his hands, comfortable next to Bitty. His smile contradicts his words. “ _Don’t_  remind me.”

As they go on, Dex realizes he’s left his phone upstairs in Chowder’s room, along with Nursey’s stuff as well. He taps Chowder and whispers he’ll be right back before silently slipping away and up the stairs.

(Shitty was right. There was an oddly shaped scrape in the few top steps where he had slipped.)

He goes into Chowder’s room and goes straight to pick up his phone where he had left it charging. He stopped in his tracks when he realized that Nursey had spread his stuff all over the bed that morning and rolled his eyes. _He’s so messy_ , he thought fondly.

He lifted the brown leather notebook covering his phone, wondering what it was. He was planning on putting it down when his eyes caught onto a few words in the middle of the book—

 

_wednesday_

 

_god, it’s his skin. it’s rough and ragged, his hands unbearably worn with time spent working. ~~sometimes he grabs me and i get shivers, honestly.~~  it’s his freckles. the little constellations on his skin that show how sun-kissed he is. his eyes, oh my god, it’s his eyes too.  ~~chocolate~~   ~~hazel~~   ~~light~~ honey-brown. amber. they’re fierce and even fiercer when he looks at me. _

 

_thursday_

 

_maybe it’s his lips too. the faint bite marks on them and the rough edges from biting too much. he doesn’t use any chapstick, they’re aren’t soft either. oh god. maybe it’s his hair. it’s curly when it grows out. wild and tangled and god i wish he didn’t cut it so much. that i could grab some and gently push them away from his face and tell him that he looked beautiful either way._

 

_friday_

_maybe it’s the way i know, in some odd way, he cares? when i fall and slip on ice he’s always there to pick me up. always there to throw a beer at me. always there to keep me humble, to keep me in check, to remind me that i grew up differently and sometimes i just. i need to better. yeah._

_maybe it’s because he makes me better._

_saturday_

_i think i’m in love. and i don’t think i mind._

 

The door slamming shut behind Dex pulls him out of his trance and he whips around. The loose papers fly out of the journal, falling around him gently like snow. Dex freezes when he realizes Nursey is standing there, staring Dex straight in the eye as the papers with his secret admiration fall.

“--Get out.”

“Nurse-- _Derek_ \--”

“ _Get out_!” 

His shrill tone shocks Dex; his heart bounces between his throat and pit of his stomach, making him feel sick all over. He drops the journal immediately and dashes for the door, brushing past Nursey and feels like he’s been burned where their shoulders hit. 

He runs down the stairs and hears the faint cry of Chowder as he slams the door to the Haus. He’s forgotten his bag, his phone, and maybe some of his dignity as well. He keeps walking and doesn’t stop walking until he’s made a circle around the block of frat houses and has made his way back to the dorms. He goes straight to his dorm where it is blessedly empty and devoid of roommates. 

He tucks himself into his covers, shucking his t-shirt, jeans, and shoes and leaving himself bare except underwear. He shivers as if he had the flu. But he knows it’s because he can’t stop replaying the look of utter rage and hate in Nursey’s eyes and he never knew he could regret something so much. He’s crossed a fine,  _fine_  line.

Dex doesn’t do anything but sit there and listening to his clock on the wall  _tick, tock, tick, tock, tick_ \--until he drifts into a dreamless sleep.

 

-

 

They play bad. The whole team notices. They stand and face away from each other in the locker room. In classes they sit away from each other and it’s evident to the other students and team mates that something is different than usual. It’s not their petty arguing or their usual anger. Something feels uncomfortable, something left unspoken.

It’s Saturday evening, with everyone out and spending time together downstairs. Bitty’s in the kitchen again, practicing a recipe and procrastinating on homework. Dex wordlessly opens the door to the Haus and sits down at the kitchen table, laying his head down on his arms. Bitty glances over as he stirs some cookie batter. Eventually, he becomes too uncomfortable with himself and turns around, bowl still in hand.

“Why have you and Nursey been acting so weird lately? I thought things smoothed out somewhat. You used to banter and now it’s just--” Bitty shrugs. “...Dead silence, I guess.”

Dex lifts his head, honey-brown eyes tired and heavy-lidded. He moves slowly, leaning back in the chair and shrugs.

“We’ll figure it out, I guess.”

“Well, okay, but y’know it’d be great if you guys could make things better for the team--”

“I know--”

“And for yourselves.”

Dex looks at him with raised eyebrows, and Bitty just shakes his head.

“Talk to him. Try to...try to communicate.” Bitty laughs at himself and Dex breaks out into a small, closed lip grin. 

“I don’t think I’m the best person to lecture you on that. But please, don’t ruin something that’s been good for you.”

Dex furrows his eyebrows and starts to stand up as Bitty turns around.

“And what’s that? What’s been good for me?”

Bitty turns around, almost as confused as Dex. He nods his head in no particular direction and simply says:

“Whatever you got with Nursey. It’s been good for you.”

 

-

Dex keeps think about the journal, keeps thinking about Nursey every day. Eventually, days later, he can’t really take it anymore. Silence is worse than arguing, Dex decides. He doesn’t know why he decides going all the way across campus in nothing but his sweatpants and zip up jacket was even a good idea--but all he can think about is Nursey and how much he wanted to apologize, how much he just wanted to  _fix_ this mess.

 

The feeling just consumes him whole; he just wants to see him smile again, laugh again, and to look at Dex in any other way that wasn’t filled with bitterness. Everything felt off-kilter and he just wanted everything to be right again.

So that’s how he ends up at Nursey’s dorm at midnight, clutching to the edge of sleeves tightly. The moment Nursey opens the door up he feels his breath get caught in his chest.

He’s obviously been caught in the act of _something—_ he’s got the stench of sweat and sex on him and his hair is tossed up and flattened in areas that have been touched by someone else’s hands. Dex feels all his words get caught in his throat and he doesn’t know why he feels like he’s about to cry.

“—Dex?”

“I’m sorry, I’ll just go—“

“No, wait, _wait—_!”

“No—Nurse—Derek, stop okay? I’m sorry for what I did and what I’ve done. I hope—I hope you’re fine. Just—“ He spots a figure approaching up behind Nursey and wants to puke.

“See you at practice.”

He runs out the dorm and he runs across campus and he runs straight back to the Haus and for reason unknown to him, Bitty is there, up and nodding his head to some pop songs in the kitchen. The minute he sees Dex’s tear-streaked face he drops everything and pulls him into a tight hug.

“God, I hate boys—“ Dex says this and Bitty laughs. The smaller blonde pulls back shaking his head.

“Boy problems?”

Dex blinks and he realizes that he’s never done this with anyone before. Hasn’t openly cried about boys, hasn’t talked about boys, and hasn’t ever mentioned his interest about boys in front of anybody at the Haus. He sits down at the kitchen table across from Bitty and nods his head lightly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Dex takes a deep breath and begins to tell _everything._

 

-

 

He spends most of his days after the bad encounter with Nursey, in the kitchen of all places. He helps Bitty cook, mostly wanting to take his mind off Nursey and his quiet realization of _I’m so fucking gone on Nursey._ He bakes and he does it pretty well. No one is surprised really. Well…maybe all except for one.

Nursey goes to the Haus, not really knowing if anyone would be there—the volleyball team was hosting a huge slumber party in celebration of their win against a team from Nevada. He knew Bitty was going so opening the door of the Haus and having the wave of blueberry and sugar blown into his face is a surprise. He stood there, blinking, for a moment until he moved into kitchen where he was greeted by none other the crux of his problems. Dex, covered in flour and blueberry staining his shirt purple. It was _endearing._

“—Nursey?”

“…Dex.”

They stood in silence. Dex gripped at the towel in his hands tightly, the breath in his chest becoming more constrained as his nerves climbed. Nursey looked away uncomfortably, trying to say something, even though he didn’t really know how to say it. They weren’t used to this—when the air wasn’t filled with the noise of them arguing, whether it be about the weather or how much they despised each other, but they’ve reached a breaking point.

Nursey breathes in, watching Dex’s eyes follow the rise of his chest and takes a step towards the other boy.

“I’m sorry for reading your journal—!”

“I’m sorry for not talking to you—“

“I didn’t mean to get so _mad—_ I was just—jealous—”

“I didn’t _want_ —it was just a _hook up_ —!“

“I really do care—I’m sorry—“

“I just— _I love you, Dex.”_

 

“…What?”

They both stop talking over each other at that point. They stand closer, almost breathing the same air. Dex is frozen, staring at him with an expression he couldn’t describe. Nursey feels himself go cold and clammy and he wants to run away, to _hide_ from this mess.

“Nursey—“

“I’m sorry—forget I said that—“

“Nurse _, Nurse_ , stop— _stop_! Derek, I love you too!”

Dex grabs his hand tightly, stopping from moving out of the kitchen and out the door. He swallows hard, the dryness causing him to choke up. Nursey looks as if he was on the edge of a breakdown, eyes filled with disbelief and anxiety making his shoulders hunched and tensed.

“Hey, hey—it’s okay, Nurse, its okay.” Dex tenderly placed his hands on Nursey’s shoulders before gently placing them on his face, bringing Nurse’s eyes to his own.

“I’ve got you, you’re okay—“

“—You mean? Dex, I swear to God, if this is a joke—“

“—I love you, Nursey. I love you, I love you, _I love you,_ I swear I do.”

Nursey grabs Dex’s wrists to balance himself. He doesn’t know what to say. All words have left him and only the relief settling in his stomach is left in him. He could swear his heart was swelling in that moment. All he could focus on was getting control of his body again and trying not to fuck this up.

“I love you, too.” Nursey says in a hushed tone. His voice is raspy and he’s not sure he’ll be able to breathe right ever again. Dex nods, concern still etched into his features. He begins to pull Nursey in, allowing him time to pull back if he wanted to. Nursey crashed into him, wrapping his arms around Dex’s torso. They stay like that for a long time, until the tension has left the air and all that was left was the aroma of blueberry and the warmth of their bodies filling the room.

Of course they were going to have to talk about this later. To actually apologize properly and to go to sleep and wake up and see if everything would be right again. They’d wake up to chirping, probably. But that’s for the morning. Right now, Nursey is going to focus on Dex’s warmth and the moment they get to themselves.

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me @misterbitty on tumblr for more check, please and nurseydex content! c:


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